January 14, 2013 § Leave a comment
This is a picture of a path on what I think is Snake Island in Lake Ontario from 2010.
I don’t understand myself lately. My head is a void. Things are piling up around me, ideas and more physical things, like the clothes and books in my room and files on my desk.If it is in disorder I have an excuse not to look for anything. It is too hard to find. I ache for simpler things/time/ideas. Some people should not live in cities. Today I read about barefoot running. I remember one summer when my friend Becci and I wore bare feet a lot, and the soles of our feet were black. I felt everything then. Maybe the piles and towers of stuff are just cushions that stop me feeling. I bought a video camera month ago and have not taken it out of the box. I don’t want to make anything in case I fail. I think of things to make and it never fails, inside my head.
When you follow a path that someone made you don’t need to think about where to take the next step. Once on holiday I decided to walk through some marshy woods to the sea, which seemed only a few kilometers away. The woods had no paths, and I spent so much time crawling or scaling brambles, brushing webs from my face. I got all turned around, panic, darker and dirtier the further I went. I had to make my way out. I found myself on the edge of a small road and I saw I had made it maybe 100 metres. So slow without the path. Every small decision becomes big. Stuff piles up like cushions.