estrangements

January 14, 2013 § Leave a comment

sometimes I really want to go and live in an abandoned bus or some other remote outpost in the wilderness ala into the wild. concrete jungle or actual jungle? this city is very isolating, and i remember how i felt first moving to berlin, wild and alone and very very sad all the time. in canada last time i just wandered around a lot by myself. can it be exciting to be very alone? thats kind of how i feel. i forgot to pack some books and left them in au and its making me sad. some sort of travel funk mixed with general anxiety. i like being able to look down new york streets and its just skyscrapers to the horizon. i get scared i will fall down a subway grille. it will be hotter in the south. louder in vegas, and at the grand canyon i may get altitude sickness again. only two photos on my film camera so far – from the boeing on the way to la, one man saw me intently focussing and said ‘whats out there’ and i said ‘the tops of clouds which you don’t often see’. he nodded and then started stretching. in the wild i wouldn’t have to answer questions but my own.

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